1 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:06,423 You're about to learn the tragic fate of the Oak Point High lacrosse team. 2 00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:08,717 But this podcast won't cash in on their specific 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,678 and particularly gruesome group decapitation. 4 00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:12,929 Too bad. Someone else will. 5 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,222 It's a big market, man. 6 00:00:14,305 --> 00:00:17,058 Morty, don't just respond. Find a podcast without scruples. 7 00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:18,727 Cryo-ship detected. 8 00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:20,478 Ooh, power's still online? 9 00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,856 What do you think, Morty? Bunch of sleeping beauties? 10 00:00:22,939 --> 00:00:24,107 Wanna go tap on some glass? 11 00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:25,400 That could be fun. 12 00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:27,152 We haven't done one of those in a while. 13 00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:28,403 Welcome to Bloodbath! 14 00:00:28,486 --> 00:00:30,655 The podcast that's only grisly details! 15 00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:31,990 Now we're talkin'! 16 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,332 Holy shit. Look at this place. 17 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:44,044 Damn, Morty, ain't just your run-of-the-mill ark ship. 18 00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:45,378 This thing is gold-plated. 19 00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:47,338 Wow, where do you think they're going? 20 00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:50,234 Looks like these guys flung themselves into space 21 00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:51,634 after wrecking their home world. 22 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:53,470 This'll be like taking candy from a baby, 23 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:54,888 if that baby was in a coma. 24 00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:57,057 Oh. We're robbing them? 25 00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:59,684 Morty, what did I just say about scruples? 26 00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:02,020 Whoa, mama. You see this, Morty? 27 00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:03,772 This thing is fancy. 28 00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:06,399 Computer said it's got super-rare hypercoal inside. 29 00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:08,902 The planet they left must be a husk, Morty. 30 00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:10,570 Access denied. 31 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,153 Alright, on second thought, 32 00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:15,843 let's just blow a hole in the ship and drag the vault home. 33 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,136 - What?! - Help me with these charges. 34 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,804 This'll be quick. They got fast countdowns. 35 00:01:18,828 --> 00:01:20,663 Rick, I'm fine with taking candy from a baby, 36 00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:23,166 but I draw the line at blowing up the stroller! 37 00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:25,710 What the hell, Morty?! We're not literally robbing babies. 38 00:01:27,295 --> 00:01:28,922 God damn it, Morty! Look what you did! 39 00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:30,548 They're counting down even faster. 40 00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:33,718 Fire detected. 41 00:01:33,802 --> 00:01:35,804 Emergency cryo-wake commencing in 30 seconds. 42 00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:37,555 You little shit! You woke 'em up! 43 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:39,265 - Good! Let's get outta here! - Fuck you. 44 00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:41,309 I'm not leaving without that hypercoal! 45 00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:44,188 Now go find that other pod with a dead guy in it. 46 00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:46,648 - Hey! What dead guy?! - Sub-Bay 18. 47 00:01:46,731 --> 00:01:48,125 Just get in the pod with the bones! 48 00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:49,984 Or don't, and get thrown out an airlock. 49 00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:51,837 - Cryo-wake in 10 seconds. - You did this to yourself. 50 00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:54,030 Everything that happens after this is your fault. 51 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,883 You're gonna wish you were one of those Oak Point kids 52 00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:57,384 - after I get through with you. - I'm going! 53 00:01:57,408 --> 00:01:58,488 Don't you run away from me! 54 00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,870 I've got more to yell at you, Morty! Morty! 55 00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:36,614 - Cryo-wake in three, two... - Shit, shit, shit. 56 00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:47,333 Oh, boy. Talk about a cryo-crick in the neck. 57 00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:49,294 Hope my schwanz still works. 58 00:02:51,045 --> 00:02:52,547 What's a schwanz? 59 00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:55,049 - Jimmy?! - Oh my God! Jimmy? Is that you?! 60 00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:56,301 Um, no? 61 00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:57,552 It's our boy, honey. 62 00:02:57,635 --> 00:02:59,012 He's got the family bald spot. 63 00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:00,847 Doctor! Doctor, please! 64 00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:02,015 Ah, Karen. How can I... 65 00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:03,683 Oh my God! 66 00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:06,603 The pod. There must have been some kind of... malfunction. 67 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,438 Son? Are you in there? 68 00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:09,772 What do you remember? 69 00:03:10,481 --> 00:03:13,234 Last thing I remember was being... 13. 70 00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:14,485 - Eleven. - Eleven. 71 00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,571 It must be the pituitary governor on his pod. 72 00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:17,655 While we were in stasis, 73 00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,574 Jimmy kept growing at an accelerated rate. 74 00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:20,825 Will he be okay? 75 00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:23,912 Short answer, no. Long answer, nope. 76 00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:25,038 Doctor! 77 00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:27,248 I went to school for medicine, not manners. 78 00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:30,376 Look at him... gray skin, necrotic breath, jaundiced eyes. 79 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,920 I give him a week, tops. 80 00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:33,963 Our poor child! 81 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:37,217 We're gonna use whatever time we have left to make things right. 82 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:38,843 Should I get him some clothes? 83 00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:40,303 His penis is big now. 84 00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:46,309 Ugh. Wish that pod had a snooze button. 85 00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:48,269 Alright, Makeys, let's get to work! 86 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,897 Um, aren't we all, like, super rich? 87 00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:55,193 Only thing "rich" down here is that joke. 88 00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:57,946 "Chachaco"... you're on toilet duty. 89 00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:00,615 Okay, I'm not supposed to be here. 90 00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:02,325 My grandpa's a scientist. 91 00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:04,410 - I just jumped in this pod because... - What? 92 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:07,121 MedBay! Got another compliance chip on the fritz. 93 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:10,166 Why do I have to mop?! I should be driving the ship! 94 00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:15,129 Jokin' again! 95 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,215 I'm definitely the thing you guys are. 96 00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:18,883 Ready to clean! 97 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,263 Jimmy! There you are! 98 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:24,722 We've been looking for you. 99 00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,349 Are you trying to open the vault? 100 00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:28,851 I thought maybe you were stuck in there. 101 00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,687 I'm just a kid and... dumb. 102 00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:31,938 That's alright, sweetie. 103 00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:34,357 Money affords us the ability to be dumb. 104 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,900 Son, it's important to us 105 00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:39,153 that you're recognized as a man in the eyes of God... 106 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:41,364 before you die, which feels soon. 107 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:42,865 So, tomorrow night, 108 00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:46,077 we're holding your Constellatio Celebratio! 109 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,996 Pretty sure God already made me a man. 110 00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:49,455 Like, very rapidly. 111 00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,791 But he didn't make you a citizen. 112 00:04:51,874 --> 00:04:52,875 This will. 113 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,169 And once you join our society, 114 00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:57,463 you'll get access to our knowledge, 115 00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,299 - our history... - Our hypercoal? 116 00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:00,425 Well, sure. 117 00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:02,677 You'd get a key to the vault like every citizen. 118 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,887 You see, son, we're very, very rich. 119 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,015 Wow. Okay, yeah. Let's... 120 00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:09,767 Let's Constellatio this up. I'm in! 121 00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:12,103 - Ah, that's the spirit! - Come on, son. 122 00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:13,688 Let's get you a big lollipop 123 00:05:13,771 --> 00:05:15,398 and dress you like a little sailor. 124 00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:18,318 Ugh! How much shit is there? 125 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:20,361 They've only been awake for five hours. 126 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,280 Grub time, Chachaco! 127 00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:24,615 - Hurry. We only got eight minutes. - Great. 128 00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,369 Man, cryo-sleep, huh? 129 00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,496 Guess I forgot how bad the food was. 130 00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:32,540 Yeah, wish I could forget. 131 00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:34,208 Tastes like lumpy piss. 132 00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:36,044 Which I love! 133 00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:38,212 Love piss. Look at me eat it up. 134 00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:40,506 This gruel, it's got energy, lumps, 135 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,258 all the things a Makey needs. 136 00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,969 Why do we call ourselves that again? 137 00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:47,680 Wow, cryo really took it outta you, huh? 138 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,223 They gave us that term. 139 00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:52,018 'Cause we "make" it all possible. 140 00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,686 If we're Makeys, 141 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,938 maybe that makes them "Takeys." 142 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,775 Did you not just get complio-shocked? 143 00:05:58,858 --> 00:05:59,942 Oh... yeah. 144 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:02,320 You learn to take the pain. 145 00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:03,654 - Whoa! - Bad-ass! 146 00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,948 Chachaco's hardcore. 147 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:10,119 Rick?! Where the hell have you been? 148 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,830 Morty! Great news. It's all going as planned. 149 00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:14,832 - We didn't have a plan! - We do now. 150 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:17,460 These people, Morty, they're golden retrievers. 151 00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:18,669 No natural predators, 152 00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:20,380 totally softened by generational wealth. 153 00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:22,024 Tomorrow they're throwing me some kind of 154 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,248 "becoming a man" thing and just giving me the hypercoal. 155 00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,094 Who cares?! Get me outta here! 156 00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:28,096 I'm literally scooping shit by hand! 157 00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:29,931 Good. You made your bed, lay in it. 158 00:06:30,014 --> 00:06:31,734 - Gimme the car keys! - No! We're not leaving! 159 00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:32,975 Yes, we are, you greedy shit! 160 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:36,854 Damn! Chachaco's giving that old rich kid a piece of his mind! 161 00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:39,107 Give them to me, you Takey scum! 162 00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:40,733 Hey! Leave our son alone! 163 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,402 Your son sucks! 164 00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:44,570 Chachaco, are you crazy?! 165 00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:47,573 Get back here! We'll be speaking to your manager! 166 00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:50,243 No, no. It's fine. Just jealous poor people. 167 00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:51,911 Ungrateful monsters! 168 00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:53,329 Impatient, too! 169 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:56,499 Holy shit. Are you crazy? 170 00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:57,834 We're all gonna get it now! 171 00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,627 What the hell got into you, Chachaco?! 172 00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:01,295 He's an asshole! 173 00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,588 Okay, seriously. 174 00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:03,923 How are you not getting zapped? 175 00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:06,384 - Ow! Hey! - Something's up with his chip. 176 00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:07,969 He don't got one! 177 00:07:08,052 --> 00:07:09,846 - No chip?! - I took it out. 178 00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:11,973 They said taking the chips out would kill us. 179 00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:13,933 Chachaco is living proof it won't. 180 00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:15,435 Wait! Stop! 181 00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:19,564 Chachaco killed Tibs! 182 00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:20,773 Should we tell someone? 183 00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:22,150 Listen, I'm not who you... 184 00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:27,697 Chachaco, you're an idiot. 185 00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,408 And a goddamn hero! 186 00:07:30,491 --> 00:07:31,784 Thanks? 187 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,494 Tell the Makeys to gather. 188 00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:36,706 It's time to show the Takeys who really runs this ship. 189 00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:39,542 And after you finish sipping from the final chalice, 190 00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:42,628 the sacred light will shine down upon you. 191 00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:45,882 You've grown so much. We are so proud of you. 192 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,593 Jimmy, I used to dread giving this to you. 193 00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:51,554 It's the most precious thing in our family, 194 00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:53,306 and frankly you were a brat. 195 00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:55,725 But there's nothing like a fluke cryopod accident 196 00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:58,352 to show you what really matters. 197 00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:00,980 It's your father's Constellatio suit, 198 00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:04,192 from his father, and his father before him. 199 00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:06,360 Oh, that's not necessary. 200 00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:08,154 I'm still a brat. 201 00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:11,949 I'm just glad we're getting to do this. 202 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,493 We love you, son. 203 00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:14,869 We love you. 204 00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:18,414 Yeah. Love you guys, too. 205 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,292 You've never said that before. Honey, he loves us! 206 00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:23,836 I'm so glad you said it before you die of old age! 207 00:08:23,961 --> 00:08:25,087 My boy! 208 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,964 Oh, Jimmy! 209 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,223 Fresh planet, fresh start. 210 00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:37,225 Fresh planet, fresh start. 211 00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:39,060 - We have a slogan now? - Catchy, huh? 212 00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:41,023 Tibs is looking for ya. Great cover, by the way, 213 00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:42,813 acting like nothing's happening. 214 00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:48,152 - General Chachaco! - General? 215 00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:49,904 Fresh planet, fresh start! 216 00:08:49,987 --> 00:08:52,907 You taught us the only way to beat those rich bastards 217 00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:54,867 is to actually beat them. 218 00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:57,537 Check out this. It's a Bang-Bang. 219 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,789 To bang people's heads in. My invention. 220 00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:02,708 Yeah. Maybe we put a pin in the Bang-Bang 221 00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:04,877 and peacefully ask for some change-change? 222 00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:07,213 What am I saying? They put chips in your heads. 223 00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:10,174 Phew. For a second, you sounded like Spoogler. 224 00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:12,426 Yeah, where is Spoogler? 225 00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:13,553 Oh my God! 226 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:16,597 Spoogler's out there waiting to hear both sides of the issue. 227 00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:18,975 Meanwhile, we're gonna take out the Takeys. 228 00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,643 Ah, geez, I don't know. 229 00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:23,104 We got that old kid's party tomorrow... 230 00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:26,065 That's brilliant, General! Attack during the party. 231 00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:27,334 Not quite what I was pitching. 232 00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:30,486 Those Takeys are gonna regret the day they messed with you! 233 00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:32,822 We got a hand thing now? 234 00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:34,448 For the resistance. 235 00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:37,410 This feels too long for a secret handshake. 236 00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:40,288 Constellatio! 237 00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:43,583 The crew is so proud of you, Jimmy. 238 00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:46,961 You've really taken your grossly shortened lifespan in stride. 239 00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:49,297 I couldn't think of two better parents to die before. 240 00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:51,173 - Get over here, ya goofball! - Hey, my hair! 241 00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:53,009 I just put gel in! 242 00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:03,227 Ah, geez. 243 00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:05,313 Father, we gotta delay the ceremony. 244 00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:07,231 Something bad is going to happen. 245 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:08,482 I sure hope so. 246 00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:11,068 Great idea to stick pins in the Bang-Bangs. 247 00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,238 People of Plociff, 248 00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:17,283 tonight young James Jamerson ascends to manhood. 249 00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:19,368 Hell yeah! Gonna be a man! 250 00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:22,079 Rick, we really gotta go now. 251 00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,831 Don't ruin this for these people. 252 00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:28,169 Party people! Let's hit those chalices! 253 00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:29,253 We love it, son! 254 00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:30,338 Proud of you! 255 00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:35,009 Alright, Father. Gimme the light. I'll take it from here. 256 00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:37,136 How 'bout you take this in your Takey neck?! 257 00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:38,596 - Watch out! - Whoa! 258 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:39,972 Going off script, padre. 259 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,724 Party's over, Takeys! 260 00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:43,059 Why isn't she complying? 261 00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:44,727 It's not working! 262 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,228 Fresh planet, fresh start! 263 00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:52,652 - Bang-Bang! - Wait! 264 00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:54,695 You can't attack them! They're helpless. 265 00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:57,198 They don't even know that food comes from somewhere. 266 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:01,786 We gotta get to someplace safe. Like the vault. 267 00:11:01,869 --> 00:11:03,913 - Gimme that! - You got it, boss! 268 00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:07,124 My bad. 269 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:08,584 Morty. Change of plans. 270 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,628 Take me to the vault! Now! 271 00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:13,214 - Please don't hurt our boy! - Just do what he says. 272 00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:15,299 But if this deranged janitor kidnaps me 273 00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:16,967 and steals everything from this vault, 274 00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:19,762 just know you two were great parents. 275 00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:22,890 Really unreasonably trusting. Maybe too trusting. 276 00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,475 Honey, what are you talking about? 277 00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:26,477 Open that safe, or you're worm food! 278 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:31,899 Greetings, Doug Jamerson. 279 00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:33,442 Thank you for being rich. 280 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,533 Jesus, Morty! 281 00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:42,868 Doug and Karen's only crime is naively benefiting 282 00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:44,161 from systemic inequity. 283 00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:46,122 Just grab the loot, you big baby! 284 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,332 Interesting. 285 00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,626 Wait, what?! You gotta be kidding me! 286 00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:52,545 They robbed us! 287 00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:54,380 The rich kid and the janitor 288 00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:56,757 put aside their differences to fuck us over! 289 00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:58,592 Let's follow their example. 290 00:11:58,676 --> 00:11:59,802 Mob justice! 291 00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:01,470 - Yeah! - Yeah! 292 00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:04,014 - Hold on a second! - We can explain! 293 00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:06,308 - Where's our money?! - Where's our money?! 294 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:07,893 We told you, we don't know. 295 00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:11,063 You manipulated a working class to rise against a ruling class. 296 00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:13,190 I was right, Chachaco. You are funny, 297 00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:14,692 but not in the "ha ha" way. 298 00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:17,570 In the bad way, like, "Is my dog sitting like that" 299 00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,321 because he's watching TV with us 300 00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:21,741 "or is he 'expressing his anal glands'" funny. 301 00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:23,159 Oof. Long walk. 302 00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:25,911 Under the Laws of Space, I sentence you to death. 303 00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:27,955 Wait! Jimmy couldn't have done this! 304 00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:30,374 I opened the safe and it was empty. 305 00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:31,459 Sorry, Doug. 306 00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:33,228 We checked the vault's log, and the last person 307 00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:36,046 to access it was, in fact, Jimmy Jamerson. 308 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:40,217 That's not possible. Jimmy Jamerson is dead. 309 00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:41,343 What?! 310 00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:44,555 I don't understand. 311 00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:47,433 Karen, let me make this as gentle as I can. We're aliens. 312 00:12:47,516 --> 00:12:49,518 Come on, let's go see your dead son's bones. 313 00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,229 Bones?! 314 00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:55,483 Oh, shit. Monkey bones. Was Jimmy a monkey? 315 00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:57,818 Lizzy! No! I thought you escaped! 316 00:12:57,902 --> 00:12:59,570 What the hell is going on?! 317 00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:00,696 I'm a zoologist. 318 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:01,781 Not you! 319 00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:08,078 - Jimmy? - And apparently, Guffy Chachaco. 320 00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:09,830 They thought I was that guy?! 321 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:13,083 These two hacked the vault 30 minutes after you all started hypersleep. 322 00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:15,169 So Jimmy's still alive? 323 00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:17,379 Fuck him! Where the hell is our money?! 324 00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,507 They bought a yacht. It's on Blackjack 9. 325 00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:20,716 They weren't very discreet. 326 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:21,926 Why would they be? 327 00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:24,178 They thought you'd be asleep for the next 200 years. 328 00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:25,513 Little asshole. 329 00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:27,389 When you woke up, we thought Jimmy'd grown 330 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,433 into a thoughtful, kind man. 331 00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,143 - We were so happy. - This guy? 332 00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:34,396 They were nice, so I was nice back. Try it sometime, Morty. 333 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,565 Sorry to be the "money" guy, 334 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,317 but our cash is on a casino planet 335 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:39,985 and we're all just standing here?! 336 00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:42,488 Wait! Wait! 337 00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:44,657 All that money did is tear you apart. 338 00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:47,993 From your friends, your neighbors, even your old home. 339 00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:50,955 But now you can go to a whole new world as equals. 340 00:13:51,038 --> 00:13:52,414 A place where you can live... 341 00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:53,978 Son of a bitch. They're already gone. 342 00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,961 Damn it. I was about to tie it all together. 343 00:13:57,044 --> 00:13:58,838 Space race, Morty! Let's go! 344 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,632 Gonna pay off med school, baby! 345 00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,385 Time of death is now! 346 00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:05,511 Hey! 347 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,829 They're gonna kill each other for that money, Rick! 348 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,229 Why didn't we take your car?! 349 00:14:15,312 --> 00:14:18,107 Constellatio gift from a rich uncle. Be rude not to take it. 350 00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:21,694 I never believed in God! 351 00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:23,821 I do believe in God! I do believe in God! 352 00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:30,870 Chachaco, when I met you, 353 00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:33,122 you were scooping hot steamers out of a pipe. 354 00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:34,832 So I saved you. 355 00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:38,085 Now blow some working-class luck on these dice, amigo. 356 00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:40,963 Jimmy! 357 00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,549 All the money goes to the 11-year-old and his best friend. 358 00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:45,676 - Yeah! - Hey, turn up the TV. 359 00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:47,636 A massive space race is underway, 360 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,639 apparently chasing down a large fortune of stolen money. 361 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,975 Glizop is live with the story. Glizop? 362 00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:55,603 Tim, I'm here at the scene, where I'm gonna be rich! 363 00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:56,687 I quit! 364 00:14:57,354 --> 00:14:58,397 Snap! 365 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,900 Wish he didn't do that. Those mics are expensive. 366 00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:04,320 In any case, here's a picture of the suspected thieves. 367 00:15:05,195 --> 00:15:07,072 - Oh, shit! Oh, shit! - Oh, man! Oh, God! 368 00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:12,745 Ah, farts! It's my dumb parents! 369 00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:15,205 Punch it, Chachaco! Load up the hypercoal! 370 00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,963 Hey! I gotta pay for those! 371 00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:25,424 And soon I can! 372 00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:29,261 Lovely pennies, copper pennies 373 00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,138 Little window-shopper pennies 374 00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:33,766 Lincoln-headed pennies Touch them when I'm all alone 375 00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:35,225 Son of a bitch! 376 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:36,352 You're a terrible doctor! 377 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:37,686 Tell that to my money! 378 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:38,771 I will! 379 00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:40,856 Eat my pennies, kiss my pennies 380 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,816 Give a lil' miss my pennies 381 00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:45,069 If you have a penny, then I'll have you for my own 382 00:15:45,152 --> 00:15:46,904 That money can't bring back Lizzy, 383 00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:50,449 but it can buy another monkey that I will also name Lizzy. 384 00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:52,284 My mouth is full of pennies, pennies 385 00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:55,704 Say it once again 386 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,332 Thank you, New Lizzy. 387 00:15:58,415 --> 00:16:00,167 Tinkly pennies, sweaty pennies 388 00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:01,877 Throw-'em-like-confetti pennies 389 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:06,548 A hundredth of a dollar is as much as I require 390 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,008 I'm driving the ship! 391 00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:09,426 I'm finally driving the ship! 392 00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:13,347 Rick! 393 00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:17,017 Okay. Think he found a shortcut? 394 00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:18,644 No, he's just nuts. 395 00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:26,986 My favorite part of the job... escalating situations. 396 00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:34,368 Hey! The race hasn't started yet! 397 00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:36,245 Kinda bummed to leave that race behind. 398 00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:37,931 Thought we'd end up winning it by accident. 399 00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:40,124 Oh! Chicken coop cluster! 400 00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:42,543 It's all coops! Wall-to-wall coops! 401 00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:47,047 Why would you roll the windows down? 402 00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:48,716 I wanted the full experience. 403 00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:50,467 Pennies, pennies, shiny pennies 404 00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,428 Have-them-all-for-mine-y pennies 405 00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:54,304 Melt me down for pennies... 406 00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:56,473 You have the right to remain poor! 407 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,350 You have the right to shut up! 408 00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,715 - Rick, there's too many of 'em! - Smoke 'em if you got 'em! 409 00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:03,355 Nothing I won't do to get a pocketful of cents 410 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:04,690 Oh, man! They're on our ass! 411 00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:06,817 I'll eat dirt for pennies 412 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,738 Why is this old dude wearing my Constellatio suit?! 413 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,656 You don't deserve Karen and Doug! 414 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:13,991 Eat a dick! 415 00:17:15,784 --> 00:17:17,578 Blue-collar guys always have an arm. 416 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:22,374 Oh, I'm gonna be so grounded! 417 00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:24,626 We prepared for this, Jimmy. 418 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,712 Kiss the back of my head. 419 00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:29,673 You little brat! 420 00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:31,216 You can't hit me! I'm a kid! 421 00:17:32,092 --> 00:17:34,011 I can't hit you. You're old. 422 00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:39,099 Back! 423 00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:41,727 I'd hold on to something, Rick. 424 00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:43,312 You wouldn't. 425 00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:50,819 - I can reach it! - Leave it, Guffy! 426 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,196 We'll steal more! 427 00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,740 No! 428 00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,080 God damn it! We were right there! 429 00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:03,957 These people will never stop killing each other for this dumb shit. 430 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,459 It's over, Rick. 431 00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:08,837 Chachaco, you funny bastard. 432 00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,547 All our wealth... 433 00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:11,632 It's gone. 434 00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:14,927 Ah, screw it. I've come this far. 435 00:18:16,553 --> 00:18:18,388 What's that lunatic doing?! 436 00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:19,973 Taking our money! 437 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,741 I made it way worse. 438 00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,661 - Jimmy! - You're in big trouble, mister! 439 00:18:40,744 --> 00:18:42,454 How could you rob your own parents?! 440 00:18:44,581 --> 00:18:46,667 I'm sorry! 441 00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:48,544 I thought it'd be funny if you guys woke up 442 00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:50,504 and thought I turned into a monkey. 443 00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:52,756 - In 200 years?! - You're a piece of shit! 444 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:53,924 You are a piece of shit. 445 00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:55,551 Stay out of this, fake son! 446 00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:59,054 Oh, Jimmy, you're a fuck up. 447 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,390 But we always threw cash at the problem. 448 00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:03,475 Now that we just have these gold bars, 449 00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,144 we'll have to throw ourselves. 450 00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:09,356 Dad? I owe money to some bad people. 451 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:14,444 I set the navigation to a nearby inhabitable planet. 452 00:19:14,528 --> 00:19:17,156 Also gave everyone a compliance chip. 453 00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:19,199 You can finally get that fresh start. 454 00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,869 We'll be fine as long as these poor idiots don't... 455 00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:24,580 Not so fun, is it, you Takey? 456 00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:28,000 And if you remove those chips, you will die. 457 00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,711 Thanks... Rick, right? 458 00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:33,505 Yeah. Sorry for pretending to be a deformed version 459 00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:35,215 of your dead son and try to rob you. 460 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:36,609 That's pretty messed up in hindsight. 461 00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:38,051 It's messed up in any sight. 462 00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:40,012 Rick, in only two days, 463 00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:42,306 you were a better son than Jimmy ever was. 464 00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:44,600 - I can hear you! - Shut up, Jimmy! 465 00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:46,518 Yeah, shut your fucking mouth! 466 00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:48,896 Using all our money to pay off your goddamn loan sharks! 467 00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:50,522 You suck, Jimmy! 468 00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:53,251 - Ah, I wish you were never born! - We're putting you up for adoption! 469 00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:54,484 You're a loser! 470 00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:57,154 Welp. The treasure is gone. 471 00:19:57,237 --> 00:20:00,324 And there were massive casualties on both sides. 472 00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:02,367 Still, I think we did good. 473 00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:03,619 Right? 474 00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,955 Rick? You okay? 475 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,540 Guess it's true... 476 00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:11,418 You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family. 477 00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:12,753 But I am family. 478 00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:14,379 And you did choose me. 479 00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:16,006 Yeah, it's a stupid quote. 480 00:20:16,089 --> 00:20:19,426 Cryo-ship detected. Class: Medical. 481 00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:23,847 They typically have some pretty good drugs in those. 482 00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,724 Okay. But five minutes, tops. 483 00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:27,809 And you can't hog all the drugs this time. 484 00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:28,936 Sold! 485 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,639 Five million to call. 486 00:21:05,722 --> 00:21:07,849 New Lizzy, think about this. 487 00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:10,686 That's all our money. We were gonna start a new life. 488 00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:15,357 Ah, Jesus, you dumb fucking monkey. 489 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,442 Three of a kind to the lizard man. 490 00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:20,279 And a full house for the monkey! 491 00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:23,323 New Lizzy! Holy fuck, I always knew you could do it. 492 00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:24,783 God, I love you! 493 00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:29,746 It's days like these that remind me why I got into this. 494 00:21:31,373 --> 00:21:32,749 Did you get any of that?